Shining the light of God's word into our confused world.

When You Don’t Feel Like Celebrating Christmas


Not gonna lie: this time of year is hard for us. And we’re not the only ones. A lot of people feel the exact opposite of jolly during the Christmas season, for many good reasons. Some are coping with grief and loss. Some struggle with loneliness or depression. Some are simply worn out, run ragged by overstuffed schedules and the pressure of meeting high expectations. It can be hard to feel like Christmas is worth celebrating.

For my husband and me, December brings the anniversaries of both our first miscarriage and his mother’s unexpected passing. It’s also a rather in-your-face reminder of our inability to have children. While those initial losses are still painful, enough time has passed to wear away much of the sting. It’s the pain of continued childlessness that is the hardest to endure.

Pregnancy loss and infertility doesn’t just bring grief over what was lost, but also over what might have been, and that latter grief stays fresh. It’s renewed with every anniversary, every due date that comes and goes that should have been a birthday, every time you’re confronted with family, friends and neighbors having and raising children. At Christmas, it’s renewed with every sighting of Santa, every lighting of the tree, every animated Christmas special. It’s renewed when you hang stockings for your pets knowing that no matter how crazy you are about your fur babies they’ll never take the place of an actual child. There’s no getting away from the fact that Christmas is about children.

But when you strip all of that away, you’re reminded that in actuality, Christmas is about ONE child.

ONE little miracle baby who was born into the world to bring healing, restoration and peace.

Thankfully, that baby didn’t stay a baby forever. He grew up to become the Savior of the whole world.

That child-turned-Savior is the only One that can fill the hole in my heart left by the children I’ve lost and am still waiting and hoping to have. He’s the only One that can turn our grief and turmoil into joy and peace.

Whatever it is that defines your hard this season, Jesus can do that for you, too.

And that is something worth celebrating.


PS – Find more encouragement at the following linkups:

Holley Gerth’s Coffee For Your Heart

Missional Women’s Faith Filled Fridays

#DreamTogether at God-Sized Dreams


  1. bcb0

    Hi, Jean. Joining you from Holley’s site this morning. I don’t believe we’ve met before. Nice to meet you. 🙂 Lovely post, Jean. The newborn King is the One we celebrate, and it’s all about Him, isn’t it? So sorry to hear of your fertility struggles. ((hug)) May your dreams come true in the new year. Merry Christmas! 🙂

    • Jean Marie Bauhaus

      Thank you, Brenda, and welcome!

  2. Karen

    It’s hard to know why God allows some things and doesn’t allow others. The reality is that for some questions, there just aren’t any satisfactory answers. The only encouragement is to keep seeking the One who loves you and can be your satisfaction. Blessings to you and the peace of Christ be yours.

    • Jean Marie Bauhaus

      Thanks, Karen. One thing I’ve learned is that I just have to keep looking up and fixing my eyes on Jesus. That definitely has a way of putting everything else into the proper perspective. Blessings to you this Christmas season.

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