I wish I didn’t relate to this quite so much, but I do.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. — Psalm 27:13
“Lord, speak into my life today and tell me the words I need to hear right now,” I prayed this morning as I stood in the kitchen waiting for my coffee to brew.
What followed was a hectic morning that was too full of chaos, stress and distraction to hear anything that wasn’t my husband and I griping about slow computers and lost wifi connections and things not working like they’re supposed to, causing what should be quick and simple tasks to take two hours to get done.
When I finally got a break and a chance for some quiet time to regroup, I made some tea and sat down to read a devotional. That’s when I stumbled across the verse above.
I backed up and re-read these words: “in the land of the living.”
And then I burst into tears.
Tears of gratitude.
You see, I was beginning to lose heart. I was starting to suspect that maybe this is all there is or ever will be for us in this life. That we were being called to keep on growing in patience until we die, and only then would we finally be rewarded in eternity for our steadfastness.
But that’s nonsense. This verse tells me that God wants to show us His goodness in this life.
It’s not that we’re miserable, not by any means. We have all of our needs met. We have plenty to be thankful for.
But I want to be a mom someday. I want to make a living writing fiction. I want the freedom to devote time to writing devotionals and books that minister to hurting people. I want my husband to walk again, and to be able to finish his degree.
And I feel like God is telling me today that it’s okay to hope for these things. Of course He wants us, as Christians, to stay focused on eternal reward, but He also wants to give us things to look forward to on this earth.
I need to keep being patient a little longer, but sooner or later, when the timing is right and when we’re ready, we will be rewarded in this life.
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Moreso than I’ve already seen it.
Keep hoping. Keep dreaming.
Hang in there. It will get better.